Does eye contact matter?

The retina is the only part of the body outside the brain that is in direct contact with our central nervous system.

The nervous system can be seen as the wiring of a house. It connects and sends signals to different parts of the body and helps us navigate the world. Our central nervous system is the body's control centre, and the retina has a special connection to it. So the worn-out expression that the eyes are the mirror of the soul may have some scientific grounding after all.

Eye contact is an important part of our non-verbal communication. The contact we make is interpreted by our listeners and affects how we are perceived as speakers. Without eye contact it becomes hard to build trust. With too much, we can come across as intrusive instead.

Eye contact is not about staring straight into someone's eyes. It can also involve the area around them.

So the short answer is yes, eye contact matters. But that does not mean you should stare down the people listening.

A good rule of thumb is to stay for about two seconds, then let your gaze move on and come back later. Depending on the size of the audience and your distance from it, you can let your gaze meet the whole audience, one person or one part of the room at a time. If we stay too long it can become uncomfortable, and if we constantly flicker we are often perceived as more nervous.

A study at University College London found around 3.2 seconds to be a comfortable length of eye contact in a filmed meeting. But I want to nuance the measurable time with a more emotional one. If we want to create the feeling of having a conversation with the audience — which I believe we should aim for on most occasions — the length of eye contact plays an enormous role.

Normally we stay with a person long enough to finish a sentence, a paragraph or a passage. In short: we finish saying something. Once we have seen that it has landed, we can move on to the next person or another part of the room. It is also a way of showing respect and curiosity towards your listeners. You want to see that your message gets through and how it is received.

Tip: when you greet someone, try to notice the colour of their eyes. It is a simple way not to miss the important eye contact in the handshake.